Let's do better than just get through the end of the year
We owe ourselves a little holiday cheer, don't you think?
‘Tis the season, they say. The season for year-end deadlines? The season for hearing your performance review - both good and bad? The season for stressing about what to wear to all of your holiday events? The season for cramming in each and every meeting before everyone turns into a pumpkin, or should I say elf?
Perhaps that wasn’t the intended meaning behind those three little words, that three-word phrase that we hear so often from November 1st through January 1st. Tis the season. I believe what they meant was the season for unbridled joy, for spending quality time with family and friends, for leaning into the festive holiday spirit. It’s the season for gift giving and showing people you love them. It’s the season for simply having more fun and feeling the magic of the glowing string lights throughout town.
The reality is this season is mixed with both sides of this coin, with deep contrast. It’s feeling the wistful potential of getting kissed under the mistletoe but also remembering how alone you feel. It’s doing all the work to prep the holiday table but also remembering you have to face the frustrations of family. It’s working your ass off until the absolute final hour just so you can take off the last week of the year to rest, recover, and rejuvenate.
It’s really quite the season. How do we find balance in this confusing time of yin and yang?
What absolutely needs to get done?
With Cinderella’s clock ticking before Thanksgiving and before Christmas/New Year’s, it can feel really overwhelming with all the things we need to tick off our own naughty list. The list feels endless, and there is a constant battle to do everything all at once.
First off, we do not need to get everything done in one day. It is okay to leave things undone at the end of the work day or evening and pick it up tomorrow. We can start by sitting with the discomfort of having pending items and start leaning into understanding what is truly essential to get done.
How do we do that? We use the glass balls and rubber balls analogy. Take a look at the below photo and imagine a glass ball and a rubber ball right before you. When thrown in the air, the rubber balls keep bouncing. But our glass balls will crack and fall all over the place.
For the glass balls in your life, what absolutely needs to get done? If something doesn’t get finished, the ball will shatter and break. What’s most time sensitive?
For the rubber balls, what doesn’t need your immediate attention? What can keep bouncing with your focus right now? What can wait (until next year even)?
Literally write out a list into these two categories, and it will help you determine what must get done before your chariot turns into a pumpkin at midnight.
Maybe you must clean your house for your guests, but you don’t have to re-organize your closet that nobody will see.
Perhaps you must ensure your meeting frequencies are set up through 2025, but you don’t need to host every meeting in December.
And lastly, maybe you must prioritize rest and recharge in this busy season, and you don’t have to book your social calendar to the minute.
If you’re having trouble with prioritizing, have a conversation.
At work, talk to your manager, propose what you think is most important before the end of the year, and get their agreement on those tasks.
Your manager’s job is to help you when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Throw some of your overwhelm over the fence for them to help you sift through.
In your personal life, talk to a therapist, family member, or friend. They can help you talk through what has the highest or least priority.
Instill your free time with more fun
Two winters ago at Wrigley Field’s Winterland, my husband and I went on this “snow tubing” ride; it was pretty epic
Sometimes enjoying life more, and specifically the holiday season, means spending more time planning, thinking ahead, and researching. So many of us think that a good plan is just going to fall into our laps, weekend after weekend. Then we spend the entire day binging a series, and we wonder where the day went, and why we feel like crap (hello, my last Saturday). We have to take the time to find activities, book the session, and just go.
Set a 30-minute timer, and research some local Instagram influencers or local websites (think Time Out, Eater, The Infatuation, or even your local news websites). There are plenty of holiday activities happening right in your own city or town without even realizing it!
The timer is helpful so you don’t go down a rabbit hole of social media sleuthing. It will make you accountable to actually find some activities.
On the festive front, there are themed bars, holiday afternoon teas, outdoor light shows, neighborhoods whose houses are well decorated. And generally, there are facials, massages, restaurants, coffee shops waiting for you to explore that have absolutely nothing to do with the holidays.
Intersperse activities throughout your weekends - find one planned activity or adventure per day. That can be as simple as walking to a new coffee shop and treating yourself. If you have off work at the end of the year, find something that will get you out of the house daily or plan a big activity every other day. Make it fun, but don’t overdo it. Find the time to relax, which leads us directly into….
What are you doing for you?
Where is the “me time?” Where can you find even 5-10 minute pockets for yourself? What do you do during this time?
Take a bath, meditate by focusing on your breath with your eyes closed, read a few pages of a book you’re excited about, listen to a podcast literally while sitting on the couch.
There is always time for ourselves; we just have to create it. We fill the time so often with our to-do lists and household chores, which of course are important, but we can prioritize our own self-care in the midst of all the busy-ness. Make sure you dedicate the time this season to replenish; winter is the perfect time for it.
I wish you an exciting, happy, eventful, and relaxing holiday season ahead.
Tell me in the comments - what are you most excited about through the end of the year? What are you least excited about? I’ll get us started.
Next week’s email will go out on Wednesday ahead of Thanksgiving. And as always, happy Friday junior!
Your Mentor,
Melanie